Thank You for Your Submission by Edward J. Rubeo

Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

September 8, 2015

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Dear Ms. Turner,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, it does not meet our present requirements. We wish you luck with other publishers.

Sincerely,
Editorial Intern #3

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

October 3, 2015

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Dear Ms. Turner,

I have taken another look at your manuscript, as you requested, and discussed it with the original reader. However, we still feel that it is unsuitable for our target demographic. We hope you will find success with another publisher.

Sincerely,
Editorial Intern #1

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

October 14, 2015

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Dear Ms. Turner,

Thank you for resubmitting your novel Discontinued Model. I can assure you that it was read in its entirety. I am sorry that we decided to pass on it. Perhaps you should try a publishing house that caters to a broader range of tastes.

Hunt & Peck strives to be the premiere outlet for serious contemporary fiction. Many of the most important authors of the last half-decade have found a home here. If you write something more substantive than your first effort — which, frankly, seems to be a rather bitter, rambling account of your short-lived modeling career — by all means send us a copy and we’ll give it due consideration.

We wish you luck in all your endeavors.

Sincerely,
Miriam Webster
Assistant Editor

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

March 15, 2016

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Re: Discontinued Model — Second Draft

Dear Ms. Turner,

Thank you for thinking of us again. Unfortunately, we did not find the new version of your novel to be significantly different from the original. We will have to pass on it.

Best of luck.
Sincerely,
Literary Intern #1

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

April 4, 2016

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Dear Ms. Turner,

Your letter of March 20 was referred to me.

I sympathize with your frustration and your financial difficulties. Dealing with rejection is a part of every writer’s life. While I appreciate the effort you put into your novel, and I agree that it is beautifully typed, Hunt & Peck is simply not interested in a fictionalized exposé of the fashion industry at this time.

I encourage you to offer it to other publishers. The best practice is to send a query letter first, to see if the subject matter appeals to their editors.

We wish you luck.

Sincerely,
Miriam Webster
Assistant Editor

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

April 11, 2016

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Re: Submission Query

Dear Writer,

Thank you for your inquiry and for using our new online submission form.

Hunt & Peck is currently seeking properties that deal with topical issues in an edgy, innovative way. We are interested in non-linear storytelling, inventive use of language, and all forms of poetry. Please feel free to submit work that meets any of these criteria.

Sincerely,

The Editors

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

July 13, 2017

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Dear Ms. Turner,

Thank you for sending Prêt-à-Porter Poems to us. Sadly, Hunt & Peck is no longer printing collections of poetry, as we have found these to be unprofitable.

You could try pitching individual poems to literary journals such as Atlantic Monthly or The New Yorker, although I would omit those that begin with the phrase “Roses are red, violets are blue”, as they are apt to be deemed trite.

Best of luck.

Sincerely,
Miriam Webster
Editor

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

October 4, 2017

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Dear Ms. Turner,

Hunt & Peck is not affiliated with The New Yorker. We’re sorry that their editors turned down your poems, but we have no control over their selection process. We encourage you to try other publications.

Sincerely,
Miriam Webster
Editor

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

October 18, 2017

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Dear Ms. Turner:

I am afraid that I cannot recommend your work to The New Yorker or any other journal, as that would violate our policy.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Miriam Webster
Editor

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

November 5, 2017

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080
Ms. Turner,

Company policy prohibits us from recommending writers to literary agents.

Sincerely,
Miriam Webster
Editor

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

January 6, 2018

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080
Re: Submission Query

Dear Writer,

Thank you for your inquiry.

Regrettably, the economic realities of selling books in the age of podcasts, streaming video, and the Internet have forced us to shift our market focus. Hunt & Peck now specializes in romance novels. If you have any material in this genre, we would certainly consider it.

Sincerely,
The Editors

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

March 25, 2018

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Re: Model Romance

Dear Ms. Turner,

Thank you for submitting your latest manuscript. While we agree that the world of modeling is an ideal setting for a romance novel, Hunt & Peck is no longer handling works of this kind. We hope you are successful in placing it elsewhere.

Sincerely,
Alma Mater
Editorial Secretary

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

June 16, 2018

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Re: Submission Query

Dear Writer,

Hunt & Peck is currently purchasing short adventure novels that can be turned into blockbuster motion pictures. We like stories with a lot of action and limited dialog, as these have strongest box office potential and tend to do well overseas.

If you are experienced in this genre, we are interested in hearing from you.

Sincerely,
The Editors

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

March 2, 2019

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Re: Conan, the Photographer

Dear Ms. Turner,

Thank you for your recent submission. I am afraid that we are no longer accepting action/adventure novels. The new Hunt & Peck is exclusively a science-fiction house.

Sincerely,
Brad Bookbinder
Acting Assistant Editor

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

May 6, 2020

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Dear Ms. Turner,

Thank you for your sci-fi novel. At 743 pages, it’s a prodigious piece of work. I wish I had the time to read it.

Unfortunately, the recent downturn in the economy has forced Hunt & Peck to reinvent itself again. We are now positioning the company as a boutique publishing house for the memoirs of lesser-known celebrities.

That said, if you have any biographical material, I’d be happy to take a look at it. I can’t make any promises, but I used to be a writer myself and I try to keep an open mind.

Sincerely,
Max Rugburn
Editor

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

June 6, 2020

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Re: Discontinued Model

Dear Ms. Turner:

Thank you for your submission. While your style is a bit amateurish, and the plot little more than a  chronicle of the petty rivalry between two spoiled fashion models, I have to admit it would sell if  penned by a Naomi Campbell or a Gisele Bundchen.

Had you achieved some notoriety in your runway career I could have worked with this, but my market research people keep telling me that “Nobody wants to read about a nobody”, so I’m afraid I’ll have to pass.

Best of luck.

Sincerely,
Max Rugburn
Editor

P.S. If you know any “names” in the fashion industry who haven’t been snapped up by the larger publishing houses, you might want to approach them about ghost writing. (Though I have to warn you, these days, they all want David Baldacci or J. K. Rowling!)

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

July 1, 2020

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Re: Untitled Submission

Dear Ms. Turner,

I am delighted to inform you that we are interested in  publishing your most recent submission. I found your first-person account of a failed model who fancies herself a writer having a complete mental breakdown as hilarious as it was frightening. The decision to make the narrative take the form of a suicide note was inspired.

We would like the piece to be a bit longer, and you’ll have to come up with a suitable title, but we can discuss those details when we meet. When would be a convenient time for you?

Sincerely,
Gay Mannlicher
Senior Editor

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Hunt & Peck Publishing
101 Avenue of Avenues
New York, NY 10001

August 1, 2020

Paige Turner
2 Common Place
Crimea River, NJ 08080

Dear Ms. Turner,

On behalf of Mr. Peck and myself, I just wanted to say that we are eagerly looking forward to meeting you.

We have been reviewing your earlier submissions and now realize that our editorial staff must have missed the irony in your work. We think your novels would make fine additions to our new line of e-books and would like to see your untitled short story (which we are tentatively calling “Suicide Note”) in e-print as soon as possible.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Todd Hunt
Publisher

P.S. Please be advised that Mr. Mannlicher has yet to receive a reply to his letter of July 1 and you haven’t responded to the deal memo from our attorney Scott Free. We understand that the Port Authority Police found your abandoned SUV on the lower level of the George Washington Bridge, so we’re confident that you haven’t left the tri-state area. However, your home phone appears to have been disconnected and when we call your cell all we hear is a gurgling sound. You might want to contact your service provider.

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Ed Rubeo is a retired American actor, now working as a writer.