pen + paper by Phrieda Bogere

writing is brutal.
writing is torture.
the thief of sanity
and the king of false hope.
a grueling practice of creating
beauty from the
corpses of pain. 
it’s the process of 
starting over, remembering,
and forgetting, sinking myself 
in the trails of darkness.
pinching the nerve that contains
hundreds of memories,
thinking about all the things
i wish i could change.
the source of my nightmares,
a self destructive habit i 
can’t seem to quit.
i’m clean one day and then
i relapse, feeling all the symptoms.
rationalizing what’s already been done,
minimizing the damage,
not knowing what to do with myself 
so i write, write, and write
hoping it’ll make sense one day.

Phrieda has written poetry for years before making the decision to share her work with a wider audience. Her work has been featured in Brave Voices Magazine, Across The Margin, Writing In A Woman’s Voice, and others. When she isn’t writing, she loves exercising and getting lost in a good book.